Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
