Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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