Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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