I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
