in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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