My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize