I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
