Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
