Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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