Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
