i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
