Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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