this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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