My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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