The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
