So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
