Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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