You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I yelled at your uterus for you.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
