So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
