Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
