what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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