if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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