I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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