summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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