The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
