I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
