And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
