The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
