Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
