So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
