is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
