I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
