Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
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The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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