i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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