dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
