All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
