I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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