I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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