Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
