i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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