I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
