your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
