If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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