There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he thought i was a dude.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
