Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
