i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
