Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
