for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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