I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize