Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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