so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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