did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize