Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
