U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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