I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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