I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize