I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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