my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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