She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
