There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
