:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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