the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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