My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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