I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
